Emotional considerations play a significant role in these conversations. Research from the Personal Investment Management & Financial Advice Association (PIMFA) shows that 44% of people expecting to receive an inheritance are hesitant to open discussions within their family because they’re uncomfortable talking about mortality.

But putting aside the sense of fear, sadness and anxiety it might create, there are other challenges in starting a discussion about inheritance:

• Cultural taboos: In many cultures, including the UK, discussing money and death openly is often seen as inappropriate or taboo.
• Lack of knowledge: Many people feel unprepared to have these discussions because they lack the necessary financial knowledge or are unsure of their parents’ wishes.
• Fear of conflict: Worries about causing family disputes or being perceived as greedy can make it difficult to bring up the topic.

Despite this, the benefits of having open and honest conversations about inheritance – and estate planning in general – far outweigh the difficulties. Proper planning helps prevent misunderstandings, reduce stress, and ensures that parents’ financial wishes are respected and carried out efficiently.

Creating the right atmosphere is essential for a respectful and productive discussion with your parents. You may also find it helpful to involve other relatives and potential beneficiaries, if appropriate.

Here are some practical tips to help you begin.

• Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet, private setting where everyone involved feels comfortable and safe. Avoid holidays or family gatherings where emotions might already be high.
• Be honest and open: Start the conversation with honesty. Explain why you want to discuss inheritance and what will happen to their estate when they’re no longer around. Emphasise that your goal is to ensure their wishes are respected and that the family is prepared for the future.
• Show empathy: Acknowledge the difficulty of the topic. Show understanding and compassion for their feelings and ask them what their own concerns are.
• Use conversation starters: Sometimes, using external events or media can help initiate the conversation. For example, discussing a recent news story about inheritance issues or mentioning a friend’s experience can be a natural way to bring up the topic.
• Ask open-ended questions: Encourage your parents to share their thoughts and feelings. Questions like “Have you thought about what you want for your estate?” or “What are your main concerns about the future?” can help start the discussion.
• Involve a professional: If the conversation seems too challenging to manage alone, consider involving a financial adviser or estate planner. Professionals can provide neutral ground and expert guidance.

Ultimately, any conversation about inheritance is just part of a wider conversation about your parents’ wishes – so that’s often a good place to begin.

This type of conversation will naturally touch upon other areas – from wills to funeral arrangements – and the likely need to involve qualified experts (if you haven’t already done so). Here are some of the areas you may find yourself discussing in one way or another.

• Wills and trusts: It’s important to have a valid and up-to-date will to ensure your parents’ wishes are honoured after they pass away. This can sometimes open up conversations about placing assets in trust (a legal arrangement for managing assets – often for tax-related reasons). Both areas should always be approached with the support of a legal professional.

• Power of Attorney: Appointing a Power of Attorney enables others to make financial and health decisions (depending on local laws) on behalf of someone if they are unable to do so themselves. However, it’s surprising how many people don’t have one in place. PIMFA research reveals that only 52% of higher earners who expect to receive an inheritance, have had these discussions with their parents. This figure drops to just 22% for people on lower incomes.

• Living wills and healthcare directives: It is possible to draw up legal documents that specify your parents’ wishes regarding medical treatment and end-of-life care, ensuring their preferences are followed. Having these in place can prevent a lot of uncertainty and stress during difficult times.

• Financial accounts and assets: Making a comprehensive list of all financial accounts, properties, and other assets can save a lot of time and effort down the line, when the time comes. It’s also helpful to document information about any policies that are in place, and where relevant records or paperwork can be found.

• Funeral arrangements: While it may be a tough conversation, discussing funeral arrangements in advance will significantly relieve stress during an already emotional time. Knowing your giving your parents the send-off they wanted can be a great comfort.

• Professional contacts: Make sure you have the contact information for your parents’ financial adviser, solicitor, accountant and any other relevant professionals. Given that 90% of beneficiaries end up using different professional advisers than their parents, it’s important to gather all this information ahead of time.

Talking openly with your parents about inheritance and estate planning has some great benefits. Here are five key reasons to start this conversation:

At Amber River, our financial planners understand the complexities and sensitivities involved in inheritance tax planning for families looking to pass on their wealth.

They can work closely with your legal and tax advisers to help guide you and your family through these important conversations with empathy and expertise, ensuring your family’s future is secure and aligned with your wishes.